Thanks! – Switchblade, Free self defense. Review

TRUE STORY! So I was walking my 5lb yorkie down a dark ally then all of a sudden Barrak Obama came out and demanded I give him my money so he can give it to his next door neighbors. So I took out this awesome blade and I cut my dogs leash and my 5lb dog attacked him. While Obama laid knocked out on the ground. Joe Biden came out and said" hey kid put that illegal knife "away so I then grabbed my dog and tied the leash back to gather. I ran and ran until the police chased me so I cut their cars clean in half with the knife. While the police sat there defenseless I ran some more until the swat team came so I tried to open the blade but the springs broke so I aimed at one of the cars throwing the knife handle and the car blew up. I was pretty satisfied with how powerful my throw was cuz I knew those 4 girl push-ups a day would help out sometime in my life. So I grabbed my iPod back again and I deleted the app then redownloaded it, now the springs were fixed. So I walked home with my yorkie and was about the write a review on how this saved my life in so many ways that I didn't have Internet!! So I looked at wifi and there it had " pink fluffier switchbladed rainbows" wifi network so I connected to it and wrote how it saved my life.
Review by Arandomnickname on Switchblade, Free self defense..