So. Dang. Slow. – Calvino Noir Review

This game could be a ton of fun, but the gameplay requires endless patience. Given how hard it is to time my moves, the checkpoints are way too few and far between. Get shot in a hallway, start waaaaaaay back across the street. Why can’t I throw one of those dang coins to create a diversion? Or pick up a guard’s gun? Or crouch behind some furniture? Or do anything but wait for the guards to come to me one at a time? And all the buttons overlap, so instead of picking a lock, I open a door and get shot by the guard I was hiding from. Instead of starting the elevator, I go downstairs to open a door on the floor below. The controls are really hard. Despite all of this, I keep coming back to the game, because it’s very enthralling. It’s also very aggravating.
Review by Halvonator on Calvino Noir.