Comically Horible – Alaskan Firedragon Spelunky Retro Review

I'd like to start by saying I'm not writing this review because I'm upset about difficulty. My favourite games include Dark Souls, Super Meat Boy, and the Binding of Isaac. Plus this game honestly isn't even that difficult. I'm writing this because I don't want anybody to download this and give the developer ad revenue. This game is unbelievably bad. The two five star reviews it has at the time I'm writing this are obviously not real. The controls are horrid. The enemy AI is buggy and boring. The randomly generated level design is very lacking in content and even more lacking in quality. Lastly the thirty second long ads ruin the already amazingly poor experience, solidifying this game as a clear cash grab, and making respawning the perfect time to go make a sandwich, for even that would be more entertaining than this garbage. To any pondering consumers: please don't download this. Please do not fuel the downfall of the gaming industry.
Review by Ozzy Orion on Alaskan Firedragon Spelunky Retro.