Doesn't Crash on Launch – Maneuvering Equipment Review

Before we go any further into this review lets get one thing straight: This. game. is. SICK! Maneuvering Equipment is one of those rare titles that transcends the bounds of mere entertainment and journeys into the realm of the life changing. Before I found this game I was becoming increasingly convinced that life was a waste. I was sure that I had nothing to live for but the eventual embrace of sweet nothing. I dreaded the quiet places that offered the smallest taste of what was to be. Then, on a whim I decided to download this app. The first time I played it I made it about 34 seconds in before I blacked out. This game was simply more than my then unenlightened mind could take. 7.62 hours later I awoke to find myself lying on the floor in a pool of my own vomit and waste. Peeling myself off of my roach infested linoleum I soon realized that I was a changed man. I'd experienced the sublime beauty that only an app of this calibre can unleash. I'd luxuriated in the ineffable grace that is Maneuvering Equipment. I renounced my God, realizing that the only true divinity existed here, on my first generation 8 gb iPod touch. From that moment on I've existed on a truly different plane of being, far removed from the wretched and rotting perdition that was my old life. I no longer cry myself to sleep. I now gladly rest on my decaying mattress, secure in the knowledge that Maneuvering Equipment will always be there, peacefully slumbering next to me. I no longer sit in abject dread, paralyzed as I listen to the rattts writhe in my walls, now the sound of their cutting talons and chittering incisors invokes the terrible beauty of Mozart's Lacrimosa. I no longer force down my nightly twelve pack of PBR. I enjoy my beverage of fermented corn as though it were the finest of aged single malts. True, this app has inflicted upon me what some doctors refer to as "mid functioning autism", but that was a small price to pay for the renaissance of my soul. Two thumbs up for this app.
Review by This Game is Great on Maneuvering Equipment.