1st Apple Watch – AllTrails: Hike, Bike & Run Review

Greetings! Redwood Knights and naves alike - lower the flagon of butter mead and lend me your ear. I am freshly returned from the field following a rigorous session. By my tighty-whities I kneel before your highness’s courtiers with my countenance elevated. I must concede, heretofore I was bent like a sapling under heavy Spring snow, toiled daily for now on fifteen years at what I am about to disclose. I have thus far undertaken this vagabond’s errand with merciless and dutiful patience. Forgive me yet again as I am finding the way narrow down to smaller and smaller fines between this linen’s rule and tooth. Of said timepiece, I foreswear fair chronological machinery. With Sir Bluetooth in suit of aluminum mail, duchess Fitness’s wearing his invisible ring, that timeless and precious event forged upon Barron Application’s anvil, harken unto the lord Apple, synchronized like an Olympian swim team. Thusly, my ballad has found its tail. Watch and watchman together at long last. Alas! IPhoney? Naysayers all. Redwood Knight bids adieu and Godspeed -
Review by 0zaen on AllTrails: Hike, Bike & Run.