Thank you. – New Star Manager Review

I don’t typically review, but I felt compelled to with this game; one which has truly changed my life. While the game mechanics and all are challenging yet rewarding and fun, and the game overall is very well thought out and made, the greatest contributor to the beauty of the game is undoubtedly the decision of the developers to put God Himself on my starter team. Let me offer some context. I’ve played every new star game- countless hours have been spent grinding away at these goddamn games. But to what end? I’m terrible at cricket. Still not sure of the rules or goal. I’m a bit better at new star soccer, but my skills are still admittedly lacking. “Ronal-Darbo”, as I like to call Him, has tenderly grasped my hand like the 28 year old father I never had, and brought me out of the dark cave of despair in which I lingered for so long lacking finesse, and success in my constant and continual endeavors to get something, anything, (please) better than a 6.3 match rating. My Sweet Lord’s football prowess I feel is better demonstrated by His stats than by mine tender musings. 34 appearances into season 2, my Beautiful Bouncing Baby Boy (BBBB for short) has 32 goals and 21 assists. There are entire teams in NATL who have scored fewer goals than He has created. Marcus Darbo, indisputably is also the second coming of Jesus, not having been carded, or committing a even foul in his pious, holy, and wholly honorable endeavor towards teaching me more about life than any religious text ever has. In short, thank you New Star Devs, thank you.
Review by A Gracious Disciple on New Star Manager.