The Developer is Not Qualified to Make Games – 8-BIT WATERSLIDE Review

FINAL UPDATE: Three strikes, you're out. You added ads to a game that I already purchased and have bungled the upgrade quite royally. Neither "Restore purchases" nor "Apply upgrade" works, but at least the latter no longer crashes the game. The promised free skin remains unavailable and this small novelty for my relaxation has become a constant source of irritation. This app will now be uninstalled. UPDATE 2: Oh, great, now I get ads even though I purchased the game months ago. And no free skin. And you upped the cost of items at the shop for no reason. Gee, thanks. UPDATE: Hey, it still crashes! Do you not understand the concept of testing updates before you push them out? I double down on the notion that you are dramatically out of your element, kind of like your newfound political reference. Thanks for inserting your new animated company logo like a novice or AAA studio; the binary now crashes immediately after playing said video. It was nice when your app just opened and didn't cut to some weird codec-utilizing FMV--a practice that is obtrusive enough on a computer monitor or television--but I guess you're planning on making more money so why not neuter your first financial success by retroactively reformatting it as an advertisement? This is to say that I will avoid Ancient whatever games in the future based on your unscrupulous actions. Welcome to the world of Game Development, and please make sure to check for vertebral auto-rectal obstructions.
Review by Construct on 8-BIT WATERSLIDE.