You, Sir, are WRONG. – DRAGON QUEST IV Review

Okay, so this is partially a rebuttal to Llama56's review, because it contained an inaccuracie, and my anally corrective self can't let ignorance stand, and I rest until I set the record straight. I don't really care that the review is from a long time ago. What part of "anally corrective" don't you get? Right, so he said that Alena's chapter was poorly translated, and that it seemed that it was, quote, "written by Japanese middle-school students using Google translate." Well, my good ungulate*, you are WRONG. See, the folks of Maestral** are supposed to be a Russian analogue, and they speak like a Russian whose first language isn't English. It's why their speech is often peppered with Russian words and such. Thus, that section of the game ISN'T poorly translated, because it's MEANT TO BE THAT WAY. Alena and her fellow countrymen don't speak English very well, hence the broken "translation." Because they're Russian. It's the same reason people from Bonnie Scotla- er, Burland say "Och" and pronounce "tower" tur. Just imagine that Alena and everyone in Maestral sounds like Yakov Smirnoff, and you'll be good. Anyway, 'bout the game itself: it's 'effen brilliant. This version is a port of the Nintendo DS version (which itself was a remake of the PS2 remake), but with the added (re)addition of party chat, which are fun little conversations the party members will have and really fleshes out there characters. It was, for only Goddess knows why, cut out from the NTSC version of the DS port. (What makes it even stranger is that the DS remakes of V and VI had party chat, making it's absence in IV especially odd.) I have the DS version, and I can say that the iOS version is MUCH BETTER, solely because of the party chat. Seriously, that sh** is awesome. Besides that, DQIV also has, in my opinion, some of the best characters and music in the entire series, and one of the better stories in the series. The battle music and Alena's theme are my favorites, and character-wise, Alena, Ragnar, and Psaro are my among my top personal favorite video game characters of all time. Anyway, if you're a Dragon Quest or JRPG fan, then you owe it to yourself to get this game. * That's a fancy word for hoofed mammals like horses and llamas and the like. I try to use it when ever possible. ** That's the name of Alena's homeland. Yes, I am that much of a nerd.
Review by mpstella on DRAGON QUEST IV.