A decent attempt – Invisible Apartment Review

Show, don't tell. The only text in this format should be dialogue. When she dreams show what is happening not text. If there are decisions make them matter. There is only one ending, make the content to that ending seem different if the ending itself is not able to change. The pacing of the story needs work. It is short like a chapter but the narrative total is like a book from a series. The premise sounds interesting but make the reader care, make them want to come back.
Review by Indycatify on Invisible Apartment.